Snap Back

Snap back really irritates me.

Yeah maybe..

Maybe I’m irritated at my own body. My body who failed to snap back. I have stretch marks. Lots of them. All over my belly. I hate looking at myself in the mirror.

I should appreciate and love my body though. This body created and continues to nurture my 9 month old. But, it never snapped back.

I guess I’m still in the mourning phase. You know, the phase new moms go through – the phase where you mourn your old self, your pre-baby body, your pre-baby soul.

Having children is a wonderful thing, don’t get me wrong. It is life changing. I guess the reason I hate the term snap back so much so is because there is no such thing. You can’t snap back when there is nothing left back there. Even if you’re one of the moms that look incredible, you’re still different. The old you is gone forever. Things have been moved, shoved around inside of you – you’re never the same.

I guess the reason for my bitter post is because this past weekend was my first time in a bathing suit in roughly 2 years or so. It was very difficult to say the least. I mean it took me 8 months to get into a pair of jeans!

I work on self love every day. Every time I look at my baby I know it’s worth it. I forget that I have the stretch marks and the cesarean scar. Her smile truly does light up my life. I want to teach her to love herself and for this I know I must love myself first.

Slowly but surely this will eventually happen …

9 months today

Dear Em,

Today you have officially been on this earth for nine whole months. When everyone kept telling me, “enjoy because it goes by so fast” I swear my eyes would roll all the way to Canada. Baby, time really is going by too fast.

I know that before I know it you won’t need me to nurse you. Before I know it, you won’t need me to bathe you, to hold you when you’re not feeling well, to kiss your little toes.

You won’t need me at all…

For now, I will kiss you as much as I want and hold you as long as you want – for now is the time when you still need my touch.

Love, mamma.

xx

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10 days

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9 mo

Hi!

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Do you ever feel really lost and go on a Google rage? Yea, me too.

I’m a new mom to a little sweet thing called Emma Grace (I know soooo original 🙂 ). I have googled stuff about babies since way before I was pregnant. I am a ‘super planner’ as I like to call myself and I planned and planned everything down to the minimalist of things regarding having a baby. Did things go according to plan? Of course not!

It took me longer to get pregnant then I anticipated and when it was time to push my tiny * huge * baby out I ended with an emergency c-section. Emma was born 10lbs 9oz and I have loved every single little roll ever since.

I don’t have many ‘mom friends’ but the ones I do have, ask me everything since I was the first of the last bunch to have babies. So in essence, I am Google.

Do I know exactly what I’m doing all the time? Nop.

Do I try my very best? Absolutely

I work from home and thought it would be easy (wrong) but I do absolutely love having basically every day with my babe. My husband works at night so our schedules are completely opposite and we are very much completely opposite persons.

So if you like:

Mom stuff, baby stuff, work/life balance stuff, family stuff, all types of stuff – follow along!

Until next time

xx